This is a rather rambling story of my helish trip home- so only start it if you have time.
The time has finally come to return to the US and my regular life. Lisa and the kids left a week ago- while I finished things up in Gdansk and then went to a conference in Denmark.
But the day has arrived to pack my bags and see what Olathe is like again.
My leaving was actually a protracted event. It began last Sunday with checking out of the house with our friends and landlords. They came over about 11am, walked through the house and gave it a thumbs up. Actually, as it is newly renovated house- our 4 kids could have really done some damage. Luckily and with the constant reminders from Lisa- the worse we had were hand print streaks on the walls going down the staircase. The Draniewicz’s invited me over for a coffee and we talked about them coming to the US. About 2:30- with a very, very heavy suitcase they all took me to the airport.
Arrival to Aalborg was fine- and my 5 day stay was nice. See my blog on that http://mylesgartland.blogspot.com/2010/06/side-trip.html
Thursday was my last evening in Europe after 10 months. My flight left at 6:30am, so I ordered a taxi for 5am. I planned to get to sleep early.
I forgot that Denmark was playing Japan in the World Cup on Thursday night, and the locals were in high spirit. Even though Denmark lost badly, it did not deter their spirits and they partied in the streets and at the apartment complex next door until all hours.
The alarm went off at 4:15 (I packed the previous night) and made it to my taxi at 5am. Ironically, when I got up- I saw that Lisa was still on Skpye (it was only 9:30p in Olathe, so I called and she said that she had just put Trey to bed).
As we drove down the street- there were still several footballer fans from the previous night’s party stumbling around the street. So, they had been at it for at least 10-12 hours.
With no traffic, we arrived at the airport in 15 minutes. My flight schedule was long, but straight forward. Aalborg to Copenhagen to Brussels to Chicago to Kansas City. 17 hours door to door.
Aalborg
They always tell you to get the the airport 2 hours early for an international flight. I had to get all my tickets in Aalborg, plus check my bags through to KC. So I arrived at 1:20 hours early. I walked into the terminal and the lights were not even on. There were a few people waiting in the dark, the only light coming in from the windows, waiting for the many desks to open. It was at least another 25 minutes before the first worker showed up. I had one bag (which was .2 kg under the weight limit). I also had a very heavy rolling back pack, plus my regular back pack. Now to check a second item is $50. But I decided that since the rolling backpack was so heavy and I had so many connections- it would be worth it. That proved to be good foresight... Of course, I had to go through security, take off my belt, shoes, scan my bags and the other usual things. I even had time for an espresso. The SAS airplane took off from Aalborg on time and without issue. Perfect beginning.
Copenhagen
After the 40 minute flight to Copenhagen- the issues began. I had 35 minutes before the next leg to Brussels took off. First, you arrive at a small side, terminal A, (for the local planes). Then you take a bus to one of the bigger terminals. First problem- I had no indication of what terminal my next flight was in. I finally found someone what terminal my flight left from. They said definitely terminal 2. As terminal 2 is 1/2 mile away- you have to take a bus. The buses only comes every 15 minutes (and I am on a really tight schedule). I wait and wait (one must have left just before I arrived). It finally came and I was off to terminal 2.
I walked in, and again could not find my SAS Air flight (15 minutes before it leaves). I went up to a desk, and she said this airline departs from terminal 3, not 2. Luckily, the distance between terminal 2 and 3 is not far- so I was able to quickly walk.
I arrived at terminal 3 and saw my flight- I also saw it was running 10 minutes late, so I was actually relieved. It said go to gate B2. Now, since I had to go outside to change terminals- I had to go through screening again. Shoes, belts, remove laptop, scan stuff all over again.
I run down to gate B2 only to see people with a dejected look leaving the gate and walking away. When I arrived- a sign said- “gate changed to D (yes D) 6. Way on the other side of the terminal. Plus the flight was delayed even more, another 20 minutes.
I got to Gate D2, only to sit down and hear that we have been moved to D4 (at least that was close). I also looked at the sign and the flight was delayed another hour.
Well, given all the delays- there was no way that I was going to make connection #3 in Brussels. The flight leaving Copenhagen was going to leave after my Brussels to Chicago connection was gone. I started to think about what to do. I got on the internet and looked at later Brussels flights to Chicago. There was only one more leaving that day. Brussels to Chicago via New Deli, India- 25 hours.
About that time, I hear my name being called over the intercom to “come to the desk”. The desk person tells me and 2 other who are also taking the Brussels to Chicago leg, “that we are probably not going to make it”. No shit!
He said we had to go to terminal 2 and talk to the transfer desk. Back to terminal 2.
Me and my two new BFF went to the transfer gate, and told them we were asked to report to here. Of course, the transfer gate had no idea why we were asked to go there, so they called the gate. They got off the phone and said “it looks like you will all miss your Brussels to Chicago flight”. No shit!
So he typed and typed and typed and found me a new route:
Copenhagen to Newark to Chicago to KC (eventually arriving 5 hours later than I was suppose to- but at least it was home).
The gate for our new flight was back in terminal 2: Gate C.
Back through the terminal and back through security. Off with the belt, shoes, laptop, scan this and that.
As Copenhagen was now by place where I was leaving the EU- me and my new BFFs had to also go through the passport control line. We arrived at that point only to find the line about 100 yards long, with 8 people across. It was hot and tightly packed. A man across from me passed out in line and hit his head one someone’s steel suitcase. He had to be taken away in a wheelchair. I would have helped out- but I did not want to lose my spot in line.
We finally get to passport control- and the guard doesn’t look at my picture, does not check my name, does not scan my passport and does not even ask any questions. He just puts in his obligatory stamp and I am off- what is that helping to prevent?
I get to my gate C40 (by now I have been in 3 terminals and Gate sections A, B, C & D) and was given a new boarding pass. As I enter the gate area- I am grabbed by the arm by an attendant and he says “Mr. Gartland, you have been randomly selected for an additional screening, please come to this cubicle”. So, off with the belt, shoes, out with laptop, screen my stuff, swipe my hands, and I am asked to turn ON all my electronic devices. Well, all that is in my backpack is electronic devices, so this takes a while. I even had to turn on my slide projector lecture pointer. Then I got a nice pat-down from a lady guard. Finally, I was allowed to enter the plane to Newark.
The Long Flight
When I booked this new flight with SAS in Copenhagen, I specifically was assured that I had an aisle seat. I asked twice. As I got on the plane, I saw that I was about to spend 8 hours in a middle aisle seat. I have a theory about this. There is a strong relationship between how many people you have to climb over and how often you have to pee. This works not only on airplanes, but in movie theaters and stadiums too. I wanted to time my trips to when the guy in the aisle seat got up to pee, then I would just follow him. However he was a pee camel. Never went the entire 8 hour flight- which made me have to go even more.
That said, I figured the worst was over, and what could go wrong in Newark?
Newark
I arrive in Newark at terminal B, get through passport control, recheck my bags through United Airlines to go from Chicago, then to KC. US Passport control asked me no questions and did not even notice I have been out of the country for 10 months, or ask where I have been and doing.
Now back in Copenhagen, SAS Air has booked me on United Flights to Chicago and to Kansas City (SAS is part of the Star Alliance, but does not run intra-US flights).
I have to leave terminal B and take the airport train to the United gates at terminal A (you need a train to go from terminal to terminal). My flight is on the departures board, but the gate is not listed yet. I have about 1.5 hours. So, I wait and wait. The flight stays on the board, but a gate is never assigned.
With about 45 minutes to go, I walk up to the United ticket booth and they are just posting a sign that the “Chicago flight is canceled. See a ticket agent”.
I went up to the agent and told her what occurred and gave her my travel reroute voucher from SAS Air that I received in Copenhagen. She said that United would only honor the voucher for the flight that was just canceled- and I needed to go back to the SAS ticketing to get another voucher. Plus she told me- there would be no more United flights to KC that night.
I asked where were the SAS Agents- she said “terminal B”.
I got back on the train and went back to terminal B and found the SAS agent. She said, well there is a Continental flight leaving in 30 minutes- if you hurry you might make it. She scribbled out a voucher. I asked where was the Continental flights. She said terminal C....Back on the train.
I get to Continental in Terminal C and the line for security was 100 people deep (and my flight was leaving in 20 minutes). I walked right past all 100 people (hearing them curse at me) and went right up to the security line and handed the agent my voucher. She said I could not get through with this voucher. I needed to exchange the voucher for a “real Continental ticket” upstairs. So I ran upstair to the Continental desk. It was 75 people deep- I walked right passed everyone (hearing them curse at me) and quickly told the ticket agent my story and asked if I could get a quick ticket. He looked at the voucher from SAS- and said, “she filled this out wrong, I cannot accept it. Plus, since you are within 30 minutes of the flight I can’t issue you a ticket anyway”. I asked if there was a later flight- he said, I had to go back to SAS and get another voucher.
Back to terminal B and my SAS agent. (by this time I am about in my panic attack mode).
I arrive back with same lady and SAS and told her the Continental person would not let me on with this voucher. She said, “I was afraid of that, and expected to see you again”. I asked calmly, well what’s next. She said she had looked at all available flights and nothing else was going to KC tonight. I would need to spend the night in New Jersey and try again tomorrow.
Now I might be writing this calmly, but that was certainly not my mood during this time. It was a complex mixture of utter anger and panic. I talked my self down and started to accept my fate. No sense in getting further rattled and either ending up in the ER or jail. Also, I have no cell phone (I still have a Polish SIM card in my phone- so I can’t call Lisa). I had to borrow a stranger’s phone- as Lisa did not know what was going on.
Th SAS lady found me a Saturday morning ticket (on American Airlines this time) and gives me a voucher to get a ticket from them. I said “where am I staying tonight and who is paying”. The only person I know in New Jersey is Tony Soprano. She said, “well since United is the one that canceled your flight- they should arrange for your stay. Just go back to terminal A.....”
I stopped her at that point and said (well I can’t repeat that...). Anyway she agreed to get me a hotel and SAS pay for it. She called and called and most hotels were booked. She finally got me a room at Hampton Inn. She wrote out a hotel voucher to Hampton Inn.
On my way out- I briefly mentioned that I wonder where I might get my checked bags tomorrow. I assumed I can just pick them up in KC- but what airline would have them, as I had not seen them in hours? (But I had been transferred to so many flights in the past hours). She said, “oh no- under new regulations if you are not on the flight then your bags are pulled, so they are still in NJ”. I asked, “then where are my bags in NJ”- she said “I don’t have that on my system”. She recommended I go back to the international terminal and ask them to see what airline my bags ended up on.
Back to the train to international. I go to the international baggage people and go through the entire story. I said I just wanted to know where I can pick up my bags. She looked and found they were still at United- back in terminal A. Back on the train to A.
I go to the United baggage people and tell them my story. Of course, he has no records of my bags- but I can actually see them behind him. So I ask if he could just turn around, he would not need his computer. He says I have to take them with me now since I am flying American in the morning.
I get my 100 lbs of bags and now need to get to the hotel. I ask a red cap where the hotel buses come- and he said “The P4 terminal stop- just get on the train......” so back on the train- this time with 100 lbs of bags.
I get on the Hampton Inn bus and take the 5 minute ride to the hotel.
Hampton Inn- Newark
I get to Hampton Inn and gave them my name and the hotel voucher that SAS gave me. He looked at it and went into the back office. He came back out and said that their hotel does not accept vouchers from this airline. He said I should go back to SAS at the airport and have them either give me cash for the room or set me up at another hotel. I said (well I can’t repeat that either)- then I just gave him my credit card and said “give me a room”.
I had been up and traveling for the better part of 24 hours by this point- and I am in New Jersey. I shower (of course, I tossed most of toiletries at the Aalborg hotel that morning before I left- since I have plenty at home and was expecting to be there that night).
To bed and try again tomorrow.
Newark Airport Part II
As my body is still recovering from the 7 hour time difference, I was up rather early. I went down and had the breakfast buffet. I paid my $109 for my room (SAS will hear from me later on this). Even though my flight did not leave Newark until 10:20a- I wanted to take no chances- so I left at 7:30a. I assumed the worst. Would American take my SAS voucher? But my biggest concern were my bags. My big suitcase was within .2kg of international flight weight limits- which means it was way over the domestic flight weight limit. Plus, I had already paid for my second bag to be checked too (but that was yesterday, and several different sets of airlines ago). I could see me needing to pay another hefty fee(s) to get my bags on. I had even left on all the baggages tags from yesterday to show all the places they had been- to maybe garner sympathy.
At the ticket desk, I was all ready with sad story and plead for my tickets and bags. Not only was there no line at American- she took my voucher, gave me my ticket and took all my bags with no questions asked. I was sitting in front of my gate with no bags, tickets in hand- two hours early. The flight took off on time. Newark was glad to get rid of me.
Chicago
My original worry had always been Chicago O’Hare (ORD). To me, ORD is Dante’s 5th ring of Hell. Nothing ever goes well there. Almost every problem I have ever had in my life flying occurred in or about ORD. Once we sat on the ORD tarmac for 2 hours so they could check pillows. To my delight, other than a 20 minute delay- we got off without issue and headed to KC (I was suppose to be on this flight route 22 hours ago).
It was my pleasure to see the family as I arrived in Kansas City. Although it had only been a week since I said goodbye to them in Gdansk- it felt like a month. Good to be home- only 22 hours late.
Conclusion
So about 40 hours door to door. Aalborg to Olathe.
Although I have heard worse stories- this was the most hassle I have ever gone through in travel. As you read Lisa’s blog last week- she had an adventure (albeit a very different one) getting home too. That said, the right travel nightmare happened to the right people. Lisa could have never navigated all those back and forth, ticket counters, security checks and hotel with all the kids. I could not have handled the barfing, the kids, lines, the kids etc.
Finally, I must ask what rational person would work at one of these airline customer service centers? Cleaning Johnny-on-the-Spots must be a more enjoyable job. These people take the brunt of all the airline stupidity that occurs. Every time I was in line at one of these places (and boy was I at several)- everyone in front of me and everyone behind me were about ready to explode due to their own personal travel hell.













































