Are We Really a "BIG" family?

I have not mentioned this in any previous blogs- but traveling with a family of six in Europe is surprisingly challenging. Most places are not set up for six.

This was unexpected to me. As in the numerous times I have been to Europe, it has either been by myself or with one other person. So traveling with a wife and four kids was new.

Europe has gone through a dramatic shift in the past few decades. Birth rates are down and so is average family size. The average birth rate in Europe is 1.4 children per female (that is not even enough to sustain the population). Since WWII, Europe has really become a one or two kid family continent. Oddly enough, you even see that in 90% Catholic Poland, Spain and Ireland. In 2006, Europe had more people that died than were born. So small families and a shrinking population are the norm. And the accommodations reflect that trend.

Now, we have four kids. That is certainly above average- but I never thought of that as “huge.” Actually in our little microcosm of Olathe- it is rather normal to have three, four or five kids in a family. So, I was surprised to experience the barriers in Europe to a family of our size. Almost everyone I have met in Poland has one, maybe two kids. You rarely see a family of three or more kids.

I first encountered this challenge before I left KC. Now finding three or four bedroom apartments and rental houses in the Midwest is quite easy. In Europe and specially Poland- it was very difficult. Most apartments I looked at were two or three rooms (that’s total rooms- not bedrooms), designed to fit three or maybe four people. I actually rented one of the largest places I could find (1200 sq ft- yes that is considered big). We really turned out to be lucky with our little house and we love it- but other problems existed as we traveled.

Europe really does not cater to families larger than four or maybe five total people.

When traveling, my one of my biggest challenges is to find a place for us to stay. I really have to search to find decent large (six and above) accommodations.

Let’s start with hotels. In the States we could usually cram ourselves into an Embassy Suites. In the States, you usually have two room choices: having one Queen/King bed in the room OR two double beds. In Europe, a “double” means two single beds (and little floor space). A "single" is one Queen (with little floor space). A "suite" adds you a fridge and microwave (no more beds, couches or floor space). So, for most European hotels I can get two per room and rent two or three rooms.

So, I have resorted to renting flats when traveling. This is even problematic- as most tell you the maximum number allowed in the flat is 4 or 5 people. I usually can find a few special ones that hold six (I spend hours on the internet looking for just that). Secondly, they charge you by person (regardless of age). So they give you a nightly rate times six. In theory- Lisa and I could stay in a flat and pay 80 Euros for the night. However, to add the four kids into the exact same flat (and taking up no more of their space)- the rate goes to 250 Euros a night. It personally irks me to pay the same amount for my seven year old, Trey, to sleep on the floor, as I get charged to stay there (and no, it is very difficult to hide children from the landlord- particularly mine. I got caught in Warsaw doing it).

Many restaurants also do not have seating for six (in contrast, most restaurants in the US have a couple six or eight tops available). In Europe, the physical space of the restaurants is usually quite smaller. So they rarely have a table for six us over here. We usually have to wait for a four top next to a two top to open and push them together. Ironically, the only place I have consistently found seating for six is at McDonald’s and Burger King. In Warsaw, we were turned away from a few restaurants- who would not serve a group of “our size”. Sometimes I feel like I’m traveling with the Von Trapp family- without the singing.

Even food comes in small batches. Cereal comes in 150 or 300 gram bags and milk comes in one liter bottles. Imagine how many multiples we need just for one meal.

Transportation is another issue. If we need to take a cab- we sometimes have to wait for quite a while before a six seater is available. Many cabs are minivans- but they have the back seats removed- so they really only seat four or five.

A couple of airlines I have looked only allow you to purchase five tickets per transaction. The pull down menu even stops at five. It says- “if you have more than five people”- call group sales (when in the hell did having four kids become “group sales”?- back to the Von Trapp's image).

Anyway- I am not really complaining- just observing and sharing. Even given the challenges at times- we are having a wonderful, wonderful time living and traveling. I just found this to be an unexpected challenge of the trip.